My Gump World

Horrible night,  Horrible nightmares. I could feel the pain under my skin after waking up,  I could hear the sound of the glasses breaking.  Only after I opened my eyes, everything stopped and I realized that was just a bad dream.  People say that we should leave the past in the past,  but they don't say how the past should stay there.  It's keeping reminding me that is there, doesn't matter how much harder I try to forget.  It's keeping coming every night, the past don't let me go. 

Why everytime I am getting better, something bad happen to pull me down.

Why some stuffs look so much confusing for me than to others. Why can I have so many things done to others than for myself. Always seems that I am the one who want more of things go well in a relationship than the other part, friends or dates. Do I look that stupid? Am I that stupid? Why theoretically I can think I am done with some stuff and practically I just accept the apology we keep going like I wasn't hurt but in fact I am. I have this friend that I consider my best friend and he also said the same thing, but is not what look like, he never has time for me when I need him, it's always later for me, but when is the opposite I need to make time cause he gets mad if I don't and I don't like to make him sad and I feel bad about if I am indifferent. Now I am dating this guy that I am really liking him already, but he keeps doing this little things that makes me sad and he always says that he is sorry and he will change, but then do the same thing...

I wanna be the change that I wish to see in people. I wanna grow through life. I swear, from the bottom of my heart. I wanna be healed. I wanna be like other woman, not this outcast who nobody wants.                                  i'm scared that i'm not myself                                                                      and i'm scared that i am.

A sign of time I lost my life, forgot to die Like any woman, a frightened girl.

Sometimes I think that my compassion for people are inconvenient.