Friday, February 3, 2017

Thursday, February 2, 2017

For how long yet?

Last night, for sure, was the worst night ever. Was an insomnia nightmare.
I still remember the pain, I felt inside, I could hear the sound of me screaming, like was somebody else, and I remember thinking that girl screaming...she is not going to survive,
If? these things continuing to happen.
I felt dead for a moment. I thought I was better about many things, but I realized yesterday that I wasn't sure about anything anymore. I don't understand or I don't want to understand at all.
Cannot sleep well for days and when I finally fall asleep for like 15 minutes, I am having those creepiest dreaming that I cannot explain, cannot even understand myself. Today I felt my organs shaking like earthquake inside me and my body desperate for a rest during the work, and every day this time I start to feel like I had rest, it is weird, because in the end of night, when I get in the bed, I know that will happen all over again, and it is repeatedly continuing for days. Most days is not that bad, but some days it is bad. I know something is not right and same time I know it is right. Why is feeling so wrong doing the right thing. Maybe I am not doing the right thing as I think. I don't know for how long those things will continue to happen, but Something I know... I won’t survive, if it not gets better.