My Gump World

Why some stuffs look so much confusing for me than to others. Why can I have so many things done to others than for myself. Always seems that I am the one who want more of things go well in a relationship than the other part, friends or dates. Do I look that stupid? Am I that stupid? Why theoretically I can think I am done with some stuff and practically I just accept the apology we keep going like I wasn't hurt but in fact I am. I have this friend that I consider my best friend and he also said the same thing, but is not what look like, he never has time for me when I need him, it's always later for me, but when is the opposite I need to make time cause he gets mad if I don't and I don't like to make him sad and I feel bad about if I am indifferent. Now I am dating this guy that I am really liking him already, but he keeps doing this little things that makes me sad and he always says that he is sorry and he will change, but then do the same thing...

Today I realize that I don't understand any types of friendship. I always try hard to keep friends I met online, friends I know in person or even friends from childhood. But I'm person who keep a lot of myself to myself and sometimes I know I am very hard person to deal.  I mean, I met some people online trough the years and some of them became really close to me, and me to them as we know each other like forever.  We have shared secrets that I would never share it with friends I know in person because I think is easily to do that online. But sometimes I think at some point I don't know why, starts all those demands with no senses. We create expectation about each other and like an Italian friend always says emotions are x10000 online. All friendships that became too close has that kind of small and silly demands that tear friends apart and when sometimes the person regret the broke up and want the friendship back together is difficult to me.  I try to k...