Sunday, December 13, 2015

Yes I really wish that.

Why everytime I am getting better, something bad happen to pull me down.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Hurt feelings and unfair treatment report.

Why some stuffs look so much confusing for me than to others.
Why can I have so many things done to others than for myself.
Always seems that I am the one who want more of things go well in a relationship than the other part, friends or dates.
Do I look that stupid? Am I that stupid?

Why theoretically I can think I am done with some stuff and practically I just accept the apology we keep going like I wasn't hurt but in fact I am.
I have this friend that I consider my best friend and he also said the same thing, but is not what look like, he never has time for me when I need him, it's always later for me, but when is the opposite I need to make time cause he gets mad if I don't and I don't like to make him sad and I feel bad about if I am indifferent.
Now I am dating this guy that I am really liking him already, but he keeps doing this little things that makes me sad and he always says that he is sorry and he will change, but then do the same thing again and again, when I try to end the relationship, he has this look  that I can't really end it.
I really wish to react differently, but I always think that I would hurt someone's feelings.
Even strangers are so reckless to my feelings.
What is really happening?
Why Do I feel like I am always sad and about to get into depression, I've tried some many times to not feel this way.
It seems that the more I try to be comprehensive, more people are careless to me or my feelings.
Lately I feel so stupid cause I can not do anything about it, as much as I try, I keep failing to myself.
Is there really somebody who can really care about me?

Friday, November 13, 2015


I wanna be the change that I wish to see in people.
I wanna grow through life.
I swear, from the bottom of my heart.
I wanna be healed.
I wanna be like other woman, not this outcast who nobody wants.

                                 i'm scared that i'm not myself
                                                                     and i'm scared that i am.

Monday, September 14, 2015


A sign of time
I lost my life, forgot to die
Like any woman, a frightened girl.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Sometimes I think that my compassion for people are inconvenient.

Thursday, July 9, 2015


Recently I've been,hopelessly reaching,
out for this boy who's out of this world.
Believe me.
He's got a girlfriend, she drives me round the bend
Cos she's younger than me.
But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about him now.
'Cause obviously,he's out of my league

I'm wastin' my time 'Cause he'll never be mine
But how can I win
I know I never will be good enough for him.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Dark side of me.

Some stories need to be told, and some people need to be remembered.

My mind is a dark cave.
So many twisted things hide in the shadows that I'm afraid to shine a light on...
I'm good for while but then like a swicth turns off somewhere and all I'm left with is the darkness of my mind, but each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper, scared that someday I wont make it back up.
I know will sounds weird, but sometimes I like to be there, it's dark side but after coming back I think more clearly, make better judgements of people and things and feel somehow safe. I'm pretty sure that most of the better decisions I made was after backing up from it.
Something is wrong with me?! Maybe, I can't tell much about myself.
But there is something I can tell, light can not exist without darkness, each has it's purpose.
Sometimes it's reassuiring knowing that I'm not the only one pretending to be normal.