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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Discopraise - Ouvir o Teu Falar

Friday, June 17, 2016

Nothing is gonna change my world...

Today I realized that most people do really care about themselves only...
Doesn't matter how much you say you like them or how much care you do about their  feelings, it's all individualism nowadays for most of the people, it's  like,  you are welcome to my life but touch nothing please.
But Beat me, hate me, judge me, because comes a time that you don't see bad things as bad things anymore.
Even when bad things happens to you, you realized that's is what makes you  in what you really are.
It's all ordeals, probation, experiences.
There is no lost in life, if is not blessing, it's lesson.

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Going mad??

I think the biggest misconception about me is that people really don't know who I really am.
But most of them act as they know. 
I am just crazy person who can
 get along sometimes. 


Most of times, I dreamed about it.
Other times it was the smallest of things.
Some distinct smells.
The sound of the kids playing outside.
The bright of the sunshine on my arms.
The sound of the trees leafs do when is windy.
Small things, really small things.
That's when the memories came rushing back.
I can feel my mind going far way back and I can't do it anything to stop it. 
And I can't understand why.
I've always wondered what would've happened if I hadn't gotten there that day.
But fate, like life, is unpredictable. 
You never really know where you're going to.
You never know who you're gonna meet. 
Nobody is perfect and when memories of our past come, it's really easy to second guess ourselves.
Are there things that we did that we regret?
Or things that we didn't do that we wish we had? 
I feel.
I love.
I hurt.
I cry, but no ones really knows what is truly in our hearts.
No one don't get it, do they?
I'd rather die than have anyone know.

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Between two worlds...

"Purify your heart before you let love in, 
for even the sweetest honey goes sour in a dirty container." Pitágoras 

 I'm scare of the day my life will flash before my eyes, 
not scare of the death, but wanna make sure it's worth watching.
I have been feeling so small, it's inside my head, I know nothing,
still learning how to love, afraid, confused, misunderstood.
It's really hard to love people and do not wait to be loved back.
Makes me feel empty, it's like been sinking in deep waters knowing that we will die, 
but still want to feel that last gasp of air leaving your body and expect that everything 
is going to be just fine. 

I just don't want to be afraid to take one step forward.
I'm in love and I wish he's in love with me either.  
But if don't, what can I really do? 
It's like someone always says to me..."if one doesn't want, two don't fight."


Thursday, March 31, 2016

I want to break free.

Horrible night, 
Horrible nightmares.
I could feel the pain under my skin after waking up, 
I could hear the sound of the glasses breaking. 
Only after I opened my eyes, everything stopped and I realized that was just a bad dream. 
People say that we should leave the past in the past, 
but they don't say how the past should stay there. 
It's keeping reminding me that is there, doesn't matter how much harder I try to forget. 
It's keeping coming every night, the past don't let me go. 

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Yes I really wish that.

Why everytime I am getting better, something bad happen to pull me down.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Hurt feelings and unfair treatment report.

Why some stuffs look so much confusing for me than to others.
Why can I have so many things done to others than for myself.
Always seems that I am the one who want more of things go well in a relationship than the other part, friends or dates.
Do I look that stupid? Am I that stupid?

Why theoretically I can think I am done with some stuff and practically I just accept the apology we keep going like I wasn't hurt but in fact I am.
I have this friend that I consider my best friend and he also said the same thing, but is not what look like, he never has time for me when I need him, it's always later for me, but when is the opposite I need to make time cause he gets mad if I don't and I don't like to make him sad and I feel bad about if I am indifferent.
Now I am dating this guy that I am really liking him already, but he keeps doing this little things that makes me sad and he always says that he is sorry and he will change, but then do the same thing again and again, when I try to end the relationship, he has this look  that I can't really end it.
I really wish to react differently, but I always think that I would hurt someone's feelings.
Even strangers are so reckless to my feelings.
What is really happening?
Why Do I feel like I am always sad and about to get into depression, I've tried some many times to not feel this way.
It seems that the more I try to be comprehensive, more people are careless to me or my feelings.
Lately I feel so stupid cause I can not do anything about it, as much as I try, I keep failing to myself.
Is there really somebody who can really care about me?

Friday, November 13, 2015


I wanna be the change that I wish to see in people.
I wanna grow through life.
I swear, from the bottom of my heart.
I wanna be healed.
I wanna be like other woman, not this outcast who nobody wants.

                                 i'm scared that i'm not myself
                                                                     and i'm scared that i am.

Monday, September 14, 2015


A sign of time
I lost my life, forgot to die
Like any woman, a frightened girl.

Monday, August 31, 2015

Sometimes I think that my compassion for people are inconvenient.

Thursday, July 9, 2015


Recently I've been,hopelessly reaching,
out for this boy who's out of this world.
Believe me.
He's got a girlfriend, she drives me round the bend
Cos she's younger than me.
But so many nights now
I find myself thinking about him now.
'Cause obviously,he's out of my league

I'm wastin' my time 'Cause he'll never be mine
But how can I win
I know I never will be good enough for him.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Dark side of me.

Some stories need to be told, and some people need to be remembered.

My mind is a dark cave.
So many twisted things hide in the shadows that I'm afraid to shine a light on...
I'm good for while but then like a swicth turns off somewhere and all I'm left with is the darkness of my mind, but each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper, scared that someday I wont make it back up.
I know will sounds weird, but sometimes I like to be there, it's dark side but after coming back I think more clearly, make better judgements of people and things and feel somehow safe. I'm pretty sure that most of the better decisions I made was after backing up from it.
Something is wrong with me?! Maybe, I can't tell much about myself.
But there is something I can tell, light can not exist without darkness, each has it's purpose.
Sometimes it's reassuiring knowing that I'm not the only one pretending to be normal.

Friday, October 24, 2014

The "strange friend".

Today I realize that I don't understand any types of friendship.
I always try hard to keep friends I met online, friends I know in person or even friends from childhood.
But I'm person who keep a lot of myself to myself and sometimes I know I am very hard person to deal.
 I mean, I met some people online trough the years and some of them became really close to me, and me to them as we know each other like forever.
 We have shared secrets that I would never share it with friends I know in person because I think is easily to do that online.
But sometimes I think at some point I don't know why, starts all those demands with no senses.
We create expectation about each other and like an Italian friend always says emotions are x10000 online.
All friendships that became too close has that kind of small and silly demands that tear friends apart and when sometimes the person regret the broke up and want the friendship back together is difficult to me.
 I try to keep on with the friendship, but  I have that unexplained feeling that make the person "a stranger friend" for me, even if I know the darkest secret of them.
I cant help myself doubting about somethings.
 I don't know why I feel like that; maybe people after some deep stuffs shared, a part of a person is lock up to you forever, even if you never talk to that person again.
Doesn't mean every time that started to talk again will be same.
 I don't know how to explain myself about it; that's why I keep this very clearly when I notice that a friendship is becoming stronger.
Well, maybe I'm strange, and crazy person like some people says to me, but it's like how I am, and I can't change it.
So I feel deeply sorry and sad when a friendship ends in my life.
Sometimes I know we can't avoid such things to happen.
But even when "end" happens, I am that kind of person that don't stop liking even if I don't talk with that person anymore.
 I don't change my first feelings for that person.
Maybe it is hope, I don't know.

C'est la vie :)

I know I am hard to understand and creepy sometimes but every time a friendship starts in my life, I wanna this.